So I finally get home on Friday night after working a full day post-call and am looking for something to do. I decide to go for a drive, since I've barely driven my car since I got here. I'm cruising down the Saskatchewan Highway To The Middle Of Nowhere a few miles out of town when I see two horses standing beside the highway. No saddles, no people, nothing. I thought that was a bit odd.
About a hundred yards down the highway was an entrance to a ranch. I shifted my keen deductive mind into high gear and concluded that the horses had probably escaped from the ranch, so I turned into the driveway to tell someone there about their horses. Well, about 50 feet into the driveway, the ground turns into mud about a foot deep. Not seeing any sign of people at the ranch, and having no desire whatsoever to push my car out of this swamp, I decide to turn around. It's a narrow driveway, though, so I have to do this slowly.
While I'm making this seventeen-point turn, the horses have come wandering back to watch me. They are now standing right in the middle of the driveway. Now, I'm a city kid through and through. I know exactly two things about horses: first, they're A LOT bigger than me and my little Golf, and second, they can get spooked. So I calmly consider my options. Going backward into the swamp was no good. Going forward into the horses was no good. Honking at them seemed like a BAD idea. And there was NO WAY I was getting out of the car. So I sit and wait for them to keep wandering along.
Well, my car was apparently the most interesting thing they'd seen all day, so they wandered over to get a closer look and sniff my engine. And they stayed there. I once again reviewed my options. Going back was still out. Going forward was even more out. Honking was looking like an even worse option than before. And I was even more definitely NOT GETTING OUT of the car. So I continued to wait for them to lose interest.
But they didn't. Now, I realize that the Golf is an attractive vehicle, but this was getting ridiculous. I sat there for about ten minutes before a Mountie drove up. He stopped on the other side of the highway and, either being much braver than me or else knowing more about horses, got out and started inching his way towards me and the horses. (I'd taken to calling them Dumb and Dumber by that point.) And they started inching their way away from him. However, they were now right beside my car. No worries, though - my window was rolled up! Nothing can get me with the window rolled up! The cop motions for me to roll down my window, but there was no way I was doing that with 1500 pounds of spookable animal ten inches away from my face.
So the cop continues to inch towards Dumb and Dumber, and they continue to inch towards the back of my car. Finally I feel like my rolling down the window isn't going to cause the horses to trample me and my car into a pancake, and the only thing the cop has to say is, "Uh... you know anything 'bout these horses?" I was about to ask him the same thing, but since I could now leave I elected to shake my head, wish him a good evening... and get the hell out of there.
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