disconnect

When Robin was born, Andy and I were introduced to a whole new world, one that includes diapers, strollers, car seats and very small clothing -- all things we'd never thought about before. It had never even occurred to us that anyone might think about these things. Other than Kirk and Miyuki's daughter Lisa, we hadn't spent a whole lot of time around infants, because there just weren't any in our immediate families, and most of our friends were still childless.

I don't think this was so much of a problem in the past. Families tend to be smaller now, and more spread out. It's not uncommon for people to live hundreds of miles away from their parents and extended families, and to see them only occasionally. As a result we don't see each others' kids as much and therefore go for years at a time without holding a baby, watching a toddler throw a temper tantrum, seeing a preschooler learn to print her name, and so on. We don't have the experience with young kids to know what is normal and when, other than what we remember from our own childhoods.

I think this is one thing that make parenting harder now than it used to be -- the lack of contact with young kids and the resulting disorientation around childhood milestones. There is a tendency to push kids to reach developmental milestones sooner, to learn new skills faster and be more "advanced" than is reasonable for a given age. And why? For what benefit?